The friday night saw us hitting up the local for a couple quiet games of pool and a chance meeting with the ‘rain man’. An old bar fly who manage to corner me and explain that everywhere he goes it seems to rain. He went to Australia and all it did was rain during a time of huge drought. The locals where he was visiting, stunned by this sudden change in weather, asked him if he wouldn’t mind going to Broken Hill where it hadn’t rained in two years. Sure enough a visit from this magical man of mystery and it began to rain. The people you stumble across ey?

Off for several more drinks at a bar in the town centre concluded with us happening upon a stainless steel Coors drink tray, (ingeniously misused to open beers) and a wet floor witches hat, that resulted in an argument with an overly stressed and agresssive young motorist. Fun and games.

The following day brought along with sore heads, a visit to Worcester, which has a well-known and pretty impressive Cathedral sitting on the river. After suffering through several hours of shopping it was time to gather materials for the construction of a beer bong, an anomaly it seems to the English.

Sporting this new found tool at a local 21st spiralled rapidly into a long evening of beer bongs, drinking games, stupid dancing and ultimately the fateful last appearance of Desmond. Thinking the time was right for Desmond to bust a move on the dance floor, the carnage soon began. A mob of bloody english, no doubt mortified by the worst defence of the Ashes in it’s entire 124 year history, decided to take their vengance on the hapless inflatable Kangaroo, who was soon hanging limp from the rafters.

Not to be perturbed the beer bongs continued on with a final triumphant beer at 8.30 in the morning atop the highest hill in Malvern in the blistering, dark, bone-chilling cold

Removing myself from a self-imposed solitude at the hostel,(mainly cos I just couldn’t be arsed trying to meet people) I made friends with two Candians (one of em was Yukon!) and a guy from Dallas and headed out one night for a few drinks. We were accosted at one stage by this lady asking what the hell she had done to us to deserve such treatment. Not knowing what she was on about we soon found out she was stark raving mad so we rapidly removed ourselves from her mindless mutterings.
With my last slew of functions over the weekend, I headed out afterwork for some ‘quiet’ beers with the boss and some other staff. 8 Pints later in just over an hour and I realised the boss was not one to try and keep up with. By that stage he was already two up on us, bloody machine. The following day a fourteen hour shift was painful to get through followed by another marathon session at the local, interspersing pints with Hennesy.
Last night for the coup de grâce I headed out on the town after my final shift, with all the staff members. Get some irish, a canadian, an australian, some polish, czechs and slovaks together and it’s bound to be an interesting night. Needless to say we all got well and truly locked. My head is still a bit fragile but but there’s two reasons for that. As we were leaving the last bar to head back to a house for more drinks a bit of a scene was going on outside. Some racist bastards were mouthing off to these black guys outside and then decided they’d start yelling about Polish people too. A number in our group took offense and after announcing they were Polish a street brawl ensued. Copping a couple to the back of the head was the extent of my damage before we gave them a hiding and they ran off. One stuck around and continued stirring before the Garda through in the back of the police car. Interesting addendum to the evening but nothing to trouble us as we headed back for some late night (early morning?) beers.

Declining an offer to go drinking with four American girls, (their accents were just a bit too ear grinding, plus when in Czech…) we got suitably liquored and headed out to the biggest nightclub in Eastern Europe. As we rocked up this huge crowd of girls were getting chauffered into the five story club, but all seemed way too young to be there, was this a bloody highschool excursion for them?

Things were more promising inside though, friendly locals, a stack of bars to choose from and good drunken dancefloors. Before we knew it, it was 5 in the morning and we managed to somehow to navigate the trams back to the hostel, getting several bleary stares from the other hostelers we disturbed.

A late start to the day and it was off some much needed grub to counteract the hungover gut rot. On reccomendation, we found a great restaurant serving traditional Czech food for good prices but weren’t up to sampling any of the beers. Kicking around Wencelas square we had crack up of a time trying to find the Jaromir Jagr Bar (pronounced to us properly by a thick-accented Czech man with a wicked moustache), encountering many locals who couldn’t understand us, and walking into a full blown scream match between to asian ladies in their grocery store. Got talked into a free tour of a strip club by a bloody hilarious bouncer who seems at constant war with the club across the street, and had some amusing stories to tell about the ladies in the club.

After gradully recovering from our braindead state we once again hit the rum bottle at around rum-thirty then grabbed out tickets and headed out for the Godfather of Soul, James Brown concert. Turned out to be an awesome show, though at one point almost had an alteraction with a Czech bloke, barging into us and telling us we don’t belong here.(This wasn’t helped by Jigga being friendly with the guy and telling him to hit me, not realising the guy was bloody well about to!)

Not quite as late a night, home by 4 with an early flight out. Woke up and thus began the torturous journey back to London, by tram, train, bus, plane, 5 more trains and around 6 hours in transit. Came close to losing my breakfast several times but somehow got back in one piece.

Dicky (czech for thanks??) Prague, was a great bloody time and a refreshing change where Hundreds of beautiful women don’t mind giving you the longgggg stare. James Brown, you’re body double looked friggin old but you rocked it!